I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
