he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
