he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
