On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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