the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
