I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I party with great urgency now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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