I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
