At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
