I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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