Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
