im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
