The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
