Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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