we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
