That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
