I think I am morally bankrupt
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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