It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize