we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize