kristin has been a bad kristin
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
