you didnt know i had herpes?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
