he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize