I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
