i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
