i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
