3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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