i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
