Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
