...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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