he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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