i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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