I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
