I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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