What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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