Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
