how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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