you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
