i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
