Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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