no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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