I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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