it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
