Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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