I want to make a zoo with you.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
