Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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