the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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