Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
