Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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