we have officially lost it.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
