She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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