That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
